Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
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You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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