I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
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Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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