she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
