No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
