I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
