I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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