He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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