I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize