My nipple is on Facebook.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
