The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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