He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
