I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
