do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
