Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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