Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
