and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
