I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
