Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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