But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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