double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
