Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
