just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
