he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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