I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I understand Curling. That high.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
