I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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