how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
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I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dear god my vagina.
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