Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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