Soap is not a condiment
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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