Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
