We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
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I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
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For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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