You work out of a Hotel?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
