things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
