just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
