I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
