I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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