and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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