I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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