Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
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Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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