So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This house was built for laser tag.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
