We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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