I have demons in me.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
