i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
