So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
