I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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