I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
