Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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