We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
