Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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