I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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