I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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