im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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