Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
