Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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