I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
