Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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