but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon