I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.