turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
love makes seman taste better
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
