I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
