I cannot find my penis.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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