capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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