Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
